The movie Inglourious Basterds will soon be made in Hindi. The movie’s called Gire Huye Haramiyaan. Hmmm. Guess Censor “bored” people will have a good time with their kaichiyaan. The star cast is humongous. Before spilling the beans on the cast, let me tell you more about the story.

The year is 1971. There is rise in atrocities against the Bengalis in East Pakistan (Now Bangladesh). A group of dozen-or-so Indian men comprising Bengalis, Biharis, Madrassis, Mumbaikars (none non-Maharathis), Rajputs and of course the usual suspects – the Sikhs form a deadly task force to terminate the military leadership – the hitlerish Jahangir Khilji in East Pakistan.

Of course with due consideration to the average Indian movie goers’ taste, the movie will have 2 sizzling item numbers, 2 romantic songs and a patriotic song – featuring all the men of the task force. The movie produced by a yet-to-be-revealed production house has not yet decided on the director. But considering this is a remake, the potential director list includes the who’s who of the Indian cinema – Priyadarshan, Mahesh Bhatt, Jayam Raja, Harry Baweja to name a few. All of them have shown exceptional talent in remaking.

Ajay Devgan might get to play the lead (Brad Pitt’s character). According to the industry grapevine, Padma Shri Dr. Kamal Hassan was earlier asked to do the lead. It seems he had shown the willingness to do the act but with a condition. He must get multiple roles. Precisely, the roles of all the men of the task force. The yet-to-be-revealed production house couldn’t take the risk as they felt people would feel it is a sequel to Dashaavataram.

So who are the other sher-e-hindustanis? Salman Khan, Shahid Kapur, Ranbhir Kapoor, Arshwad Warsi, Sidharth (of RDB fame), Sharman Joshi, Vivek Oberoi (not him, please) are in consideration. Mohanlal might get to play the role of the cunning Dilawar Bhaksh (immortalized by Christopher Waltz in the original movie). And if lucky, we will get to see Nasseruddin Shah enacting the dashing Jahangir Khilji. Also, if the rumours are to be believed, we will see Vidya Balan don the role of a Bengali actress – Begum Aza and Kareena playing Shubhadra Das, the sole survivor of the genocide.

Earlier I had the privilege to speak to the Production Head of the yet-to-be-revealed production house.

Here is a part of the interview:

Is it true that the movie Ingluorious Basterds will be made in Hindi?

– Oh yeah, we all are really excited of the new job on hand. No it won’t be an exact remake. But to be on the safer side and to avoid Chetan/Chopra-type incident, we have bought the rights from the Hollywood studio and also we will ensure to give due credits to the original writers too. Yet considering the geographical and historical changes that need to be made in the storyline, we will have our own special team of script doctors who will fine tune the original script to fit in accordance with Indian sensibilities.

The movie name is bit awkward. Don’t you think it will put off family audience?

– Any movie name is no big deal. Anyway what’s in the name? I mean, let’s say – 3 idiots, there were so many idiots in the movie and yet it was just 3 idiots.

When will the shooting begin?

– The shooting should start by the end of May.

Have you yet decided on the star cast?

– No. But we have spoken to many actors. Fingers crossed.

Who’s the director?

– Ha.. ha. Well as you see, it’s a hard thing. Again, we have spoken to some of the best directors in the country. Again fingers crossed and hoping for the best.

When will we get to see the promos?

– We have already begun shooting the dance numbers for the teasers and other promos.  For that, we have hired a leading ad filmmaker and some of the best choreographers from India and Hollywood.

Anything else that you would like to share with us about the movie?

– All in all it will be one dhamakedaar film!